I’ve been feeling very different compared to how I typically feel around this time of year. Christmas usually comes and I’m overjoyed and feeling like a kid again as I get to fall asleep to A Christmas Story in my childhood bed and wake up Christmas morning with my family to open presents. Then New Years Eve comes and I’m usually saddened that the Christmas holiday is over and because I’ve failed once again to come up with anything extravagant and exciting to do to bring in the New Year. But this year, I’ve felt totally different. At first, I couldn’t decide if it was a good different or a bad different, but I’ve come to a conclusion that it’s good and I hope to carry on this new attitude throughout 2014.
Christmas Eve and Christmas morning were so different this year (errr I mean last year). I felt very different. I didn’t feel like the kid that I usually do… I felt like an adult. Last minute wrapping and cooking with my mom. I didn’t even watch A Christmas Story. Not once! Usually I watch it at least 5 times during the marathon. I missed midnight service at church and my sister and I didn’t even open up a Christmas Eve gift. Christmas morning flew by, we all rushed a bit because we had much to do before the family came over for the real party. I think this year instead of spending the time watching all the movies and getting giddy over all the traditions, I just accepted Christmas for how it was this year and I went with the flow. I enjoyed what I could and most importantly, at the end of the day, I felt incredibly blessed for everyone in my life and all the amazing gifts I had received. Don’t get me wrong, I always feel grateful every Christmas, but this year I just felt full inside… like I had everything I could ever want and need and I loved the way my holiday was spent. I’m a grown up! No pouting at 11:59p on Christmas night… I never thought the day would come.
This new attitude I had was refreshing, but I knew New Years Eve would be the real test. NYE has always been my least favorite holiday for as long as I can remember. I love the looks and sounds of it… glitz, glam, champagne, celebrations, new beginnings, and so forth, but every year my plans for NYE never turn out the way I had hoped… and that includes this year! My boyfriend dumps me, my best friend ditches me, no one shows to my party, I’m sick in bed, I have nothing to wear… something wrong always seems to happen to me on New Years Eve! This year it was a few things. I planned a party several weeks in advance and the attending list was fairly decent…. until a couple days before the party. People were dropping like flies. I didn’t really mind though. After all, I was trying to recover from a flu and fever. I decided just to shrug it off and cancel the party. I was perfectly okay with staying in with Austin… which is pretty much what we end up doing every year any way. I love a good time with friends, but I’ve got all I need right at home. Well our NYE night in turned into making the trip to my parent’s house for a murder mystery game with my parents, sister, her boyfriend, my aunt, and my grandma. I may still have been fighting this awful flu, but I dressed my part, and I solved that mystery! It may sound lame… staying in, playing games with your family, but there’s nothing lame about bringing in the New Year with those most important to you.
I guess what I’m trying to say with this super long (if you’re still here reading, thank you!) post is that it’s all about what you make it. You’re attitude and outlook on life are the key to living a life that you dream of living. I’ve always known this, and I think you probably have to, but do we really live by it? Most of the time not… but we should. I’m going on day 7 of being sick with this flu, but I’m feeling pretty happy. A little antsy and bored, but I’m feeling good.
Christmas is over, a new year is here, and I am ready for it. Let’s be grateful for everything we have. Let’s live each day to it’s fullest. Let’s treasure every moment spent with those we love. Let’s stare down our fears straight in the eyes. Let’s go after our dreams and never look back. Let’s make 2014 life changing. xo Ali Bee